I don't ever want to look at porn again. Not because i don't like sex, but of the perverted nature that sex is twisted by people. As long as I can recall I have seen porn but it is always attached to some perverted title or situation or worse. I think porn wouldn't be so bad if they did not have such mean things portrayed in the videos. I think sin really distorts the real situation and also the corrupt things that go along with the videos. It's not people doing them in innocence but real mean behavior in the videos and it seems to get worse and worse. I have seen real pervertedness in the videos and I regret to ever see it because it has really made my life bad. People being in bad situations or having sex because they hate another person or forcing sex.
I have been tempted to masterbate but it seems like it is always followed with some form of guilt but also after seeing the bad mean titles of the videos I become mean and sinful even more. Porn has made me relaxed towards how i am treating people and my spouse. It seems to be really selfish. Also the urge to masterbate is just a constant feeling sometimes and it seems to even stop me from advancing in my day until i give in to the sin. I also seem to enter into confusion about weather the sin is actually sin. But after seeing what I have seen in porn I know it is wrong. The way people are having sex is very sinful. It takes away all together the love that is between a man and woman in marriage. Plus i just feel awkard afterwards knowing that God saw me or angels. Also demons have been sending me bad dreams and sort of tormenting me in my choice not to look at porn and masterbate. After I made that choice it seems like I have not arrived at actually stopping looking at porn.
Sincerely,
Ben Ross
