You Complete ME...

So to be honest I had to Google which movie that phrase came from. Don’t judge me! I think I’ve seen Jerry Maguire before but I really can’t remember. I’ll have to put that on my movies to review list. Anyway, when I think of that phrase and that particular scene in the movie (Oh, the tears!!) I automatically magnify my singleness and therefore “incompleteness” as some would have me think. I got curious and looked up the definition of the word complete on Merriam-Webster and this is what I read:

Simple Definition of Complete
– Having all necessary parts: not lacking anything
– Not limited in any way
– Not requiring more work: entirely done or complete

Yes, yes I know that being single isn’t a life sentence and marriage isn’t all roses and humming birds but I do want to be in a relationship with a Jesus following man one day. I admit, I have been learning a lot during this time in my life…my strengths and weaknesses (ugh, trying to make peace with those!), my likes and rather-nots, what I really want in a relationship/marriage, and just who I am in general. During this time I’ve been able to invest in my friendships and it’s really been a blessing talking to and getting to know some of the incredible people I consider friends. However, there are times when I feel a little incomplete when certain holidays come around or when my eyes seem to be constantly blinded by the reflecting engagement or wedding rings. Please, it’s sunny out and I don’t have my sunglasses! But when I get into this poor me mindset I try to remind myself of all that I can enjoy during my single days! Where is the connection to Jesus you ask?? I’m getting there, just a sec….
As I was reading Colossians today I came across this in Chapter 2:6-10:

“As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving. Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him [emphasis mine], who is the head of all principality and power.”

What?! Wait…back up, what did I just read?! I am complete in Him! For so long I’ve given into the idea that I don’t have “all the necessary parts” that I’m lacking, fragmented, needing more work. This has caused me to be a “little” bitter and jealous towards those I viewed as complete because they are in a relationship. Looking at them with eyes of envy day dreaming with thoughts of, “Oh how nice it would be to have someone by my side, someone I could share my random thoughts with and he being genuinely interested, someone to go to church with and talk about God stuff, someone to beat at basketball and he not feeling embarrassed”…because it’s going to happen! (Haha, exaggeration on my part, but I do have some skills!). But God showed me that because I have Him, I am complete. More complete than I probably realize. Now my perspective has changed. Knowing that my completeness isn’t determined by another human, my finances, status, or anything else but only Jesus is such a great feeling! I use to picture myself as a glass half full and at times almost empty…waiting to be filled by that relationship I didn’t have yet. But with this knowledge I’m beginning to see myself as a glass full, right to the top!! And when I start to loose this perspective I just have to remind myself of that line…I am complete in Christ. Period. When you start to apply this knowledge your life changes. Yes, I still have the desire to be in a relationship and get married some day but for now I’m just going to enjoy being single and complete (Yep, those two words can go together!). When that Jesus following man comes along I pray that he knows he is complete in Christ too. That way, when he meets me and is just blown away by how amazing I am (Haha, I couldn’t help it, but it’s true!) he isn’t trying to fill some void he thinks he has but instead just wants to share the road with me, so to speak, on his walk with Christ. Could you imagine the power of two complete people in Christ serving the Lord for His glory, let alone one?! Awesome!

Where Are You Living?

After a long day the first thing I look forward to is going home. As soon as I lock the door I let out a sigh of relief because I’m now in a place where the outside world cannot get to me. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy interacting with people, love it really, but sometimes I need a break. My home is my go to, the place where I can truly be myself. I like to unwind watching YouTube videos, reading a good book, or watching a favorite show. Once in awhile, I’ll get inspired and head to the kitchen to try a new recipe but those days have been far and few between (Note to self: I need to get back to that). In my house I feel safe, comfortable, and unguarded.

A few days ago I came across this scripture in Exodus 20:2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.” House of bondage? That doesn’t sound pleasant! I got curious and looked up the definition of house but found that a definition for home was what I was looking for. Yep, another Merriam-Webster reference, sorry!

Simple Definition of Home
: the place (such as a house or apartment) where a person lives

Simple enough, but what got me thinking was the last part…where a person lives. I started to think about any time in my life where I was living in a “house of bondage.” I came up with a few and reflected on them for a moment. Times when I let peoples words and actions determine my self-worth, when I let my feelings determine my actions, or when I listened to the lies of the world instead of the truth of God. I don’t remember when it happened but one day I looked around and realized I was in the wrong house. The place where I felt safe, comfortable, and unguarded became a place that was suffocating; full of things I didn’t like. The house that I was once familiar with and loved was now a place that I longed to get away from. This house was me.

I felt like a prisoner in my own body. Trapped by peoples opinions and bound by my own thoughts and sometimes even my own actions. I kept most things to myself and maintained a happy appearance on the outside but inside I was struggling. I gained freedom at times but because it was due to my own efforts it was always short lived. It wasn’t until I started talking to people I trusted and replacing the lies with God’s truths that I started to gain permanent freedom. But honestly, I have to give all the credit to God. He brought me out of my house of bondage by first showing me that I had let too much of the world in and not enough of Him, and by placing people in my life who had similar struggles. Once I knew I could trust them I let down my guard and started handing them all the junk I had taken in. It was a little scary at first, to be so vulnerable, but as time went on it got easier and my chains started to fall. During this time I realized that talking helps me to heal. There is something about verbalizing my thoughts that allows me to process and release the things I was never suppose to hold onto. Also, I started to take in the positive feedback and encouragement from my friends, reminded myself who God says I am, and that He loves me even in my mess. It was a process, and there are still some things I’m working on, but I can say that I’m back enjoying who I am again!

So my question to you is where are you living? If you are living in a house of bondage I want you to know that there is freedom! It’s a process but as you take the necessary steps you will begin to break free of the chains and experience the freedom you were always meant to live this life in.

My Lifetime Is Just A Moment

Whenever someone passes away that is close to me or well-known in the entertainment industry I immediately start to consider my own life. How drastic it is to be living one day and gone the next. If I think about it too long it becomes a little overwhelming. In the book of Psalms I came across several verses written by a man named David who came to the same realization, “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered – how fleeting my  life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. Interlude. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My hope is in you.” Psalm 39:4-7 (NLT).

Knowing that life is short makes me wonder if I’m furthering the Kingdom of God and making an impact in others lives through my relationship with Christ. I’d like to think that despite my seemingly small part in this world that I’m bringing people to Jesus or closer to Him. I’ve never shared The Gospel to someone who doesn’t believe in Jesus so at this point I don’t know if I’ve brought anyone to Jesus. Maybe it’s too early to tell but it’s something that I worry about. Yes, I worry that I’m not doing enough for Him. Sure, I’ve been told how people appreciate me and that I’m a blessing to them but have I motivated them to action? Have I impacted them in a way where they want to pursue Jesus more; to strengthen their relationship with Him? I honestly don’t know but I can’t let that discourage me.

However, in spite of my uncertainty, if I look at life through David’s perspective I gain a sense of urgency to pursue Jesus with a greater passion, to invest more time into the relationships He has placed in my life, and to step out into the things He has called me to do even if I’m afraid. Maybe that is why David wanted to be reminded that his time on earth was short…to keep himself humble and not living in a fantasy that a lifetime is eternity when in fact it is very brief. David may have become overwhelmed at this thought but he didn’t wallow in it or become anxious but instead asked a question. Lord, in view of my fragile life, my life as but a moment in your sight, where can I turn to regain my strength from this realization…that everything can change so quickly…to fully embrace my life and to view it from your perspective? His answer, the Lord! That is where he finds his hope and where I need to remember that it’s where I find mine, too.

In Galatians 6:9-10 it says, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone – especially those in the family of faith.” This verse reminds me of the process of starting a  garden. I plant a seed having faith that it will produce a harvest in due time given the right conditions for growth. Faith is believing something will happen even though I can’t see the results yet. The only reason why I don’t stop watering the seed even though I don’t see anything is because I have faith that by tending to the seed it will eventually grow. I think this is a good outlook to have on life. I must be patient with myself. Remembering that things take time and that just because I don’t see any harvest doesn’t mean I should be discouraged and give up. Instead I need to continue in faith believing that Jesus is working in me and through me to produce something that will ultimately be for His glory.

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him (Philippians 2:13). For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).

I need to relax and live one day at a time knowing that God is working in me and giving me the desire and power to do what pleases Him. That’s His job not mine. I shouldn’t be focusing on doing enough for God but instead revealing to others what God is doing in me and taking steps of faith into the things which He has prepared for me to do as I see them becoming clearer in my life. Being anxious and worried leaves me exhausted and I know that is not the life Jesus died for me to have. Jesus died, “…that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10). When I have my hope fully in Him is when I can experience this abundant life!

My life is but a moment, a breath, here and then gone, but with Jesus as my hope, Savior, and Lord I can rest knowing that He is using me to bring people to Him even though I can’t see it yet.

My Journey To The Other Side

Recently, I was reading the story about how Jesus sent His disciples on a boat to meet Him on the other side of the land they were at while He stayed behind to pray. By that evening the disciples had made it to the middle of the sea. Their boat was being battered by the wind and waves and Jesus was still back where they had left Him. It wasn’t until nighttime that Jesus appeared to them, walking on the water. The disciples were afraid when they saw Him thinking He was a ghost but Jesus assured them saying, “Be of good cheer! it is I: do not be afraid.” A disciple named Peter challenged Jesus and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So Jesus did and Peter stepped out of the boat and began to walk on the water. However, it wasn’t until Peter realized that the wind was very strong that he became afraid and started to sink. He cried out to Jesus for help and immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” When Jesus and Peter got into the boat the wind ceased and the other disciples worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.” That was my condensed version but the entire story can be found in Matthew 14. I decided to pick out a few verses that I can relate too and put my own spin on. It’s a long post so get comfortable!

22) Then He directed the disciples to get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent away the crowds.

Jesus gave them a direction and a promise. Go, and I’ll meet you on the other side. Sometimes when I think God is calling me in a certain direction it’s difficult to go because I don’t have very many details. Umm, what is the best route? Is there anything I should be aware of before I set out on this journey? But that is all part of stepping out in faith and trusting God in every area of my life even when I’m not sure. To trust that when God says go He will get me there no matter what and if it wasn’t something He wanted me to do He will guide me back in the right direction. So either way I should have nothing to worry about. When I don’t take action all I’m doing is short changing myself on a learning experience which is what life is all about. He is faithful and not giving me all the details keeps me guessing and leaning on Him for guidance and strength.

24 But the boat was now in the middle of the sea…

I think it’s when we are in the middle of what God has called us to do that the heaviest storms seem to hit. We are now faced with the choice to turn back toward where we came from, the place of comfort, or to continue to face the challenging circumstances that are before us in order to reach our destination. That midway point is dangerous because the choice to turn back is a little more tempting because I know the route back, I just walked it, but ahead…I don’t know. I don’t know what moving forward is going to be like and depending on my experience to my halfway point I might not want to go through anymore trials. This is the place where I need to remind myself why I started on this journey in the first place and find peace knowing that Jesus is with me. Sometimes I just need to rest at this point. Stop and breathe. Perhaps I’m exhausted because I’ve been trying to do everything on my own without acknowledging God. It’s as if when He said “Go” I took off in a sprint and have kept my head down the whole time focusing on running instead of looking at my “coach” for encouragement and guidance.

28 – 32) And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, ” O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 

After Peter heard Jesus’ reply, one thing he didn’t do was turn to his disciples (aka friends) and ask for approval or support in the matter. He just went because He was told. Many times in my life I can remember wanting to take a risk but instead of just doing it I looked for the approval of others. Now, don’t get me wrong, in some cases it’s wise to ask for guidance when making major decisions but in my case the risks were more of a learning opportunity then anything else…a chance to try something new and get out of my comfort zone. I’ve been trying to put this into practice more often. I admit, I still want approval and support from my friends and family but I cannot let their disapproval stop me from doing want I was set out to do before I told them of my plans. The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe. Proverbs 29:25

Peter took a risk and stepped out of the boat onto the water and began to walk toward Jesus. I can imagine him thinking…”Well, this wasn’t as bad as I thought…despite these waves it’s really not that difficult to walk on the water.” Perhaps he was even excited about it. Maybe he even looked back at his friends with a smile to say, “Hey, this isn’t scary! Walking on water is easy!” However, when Peter became aware of the wind is when he became frightened and began to sink. So, reality set in for Peter and oddly enough it wasn’t about the fact that he was walking on water but that the wind was so intense. Wind…an invisible force that we can’t see but can be felt. What was is about the wind that frightened Peter? Was it because it was pushing him backwards or sideways….or maybe it was pushing him forward faster then he intended? Either way he was battling a force he couldn’t see. In my life the wind could represent my own doubts, fears, and insecurities. Forces that are very real, can be felt, but not seen.

Peter knew he was in trouble when he started to sink so he called out to Jesus for help. And, like always, Jesus immediately reached out His hand and caught him. That is one thing I love about Jesus! When we call out for help He is there and He catches us instantly. No hesitation! However, while Jesus had Peter securely in His hands He asked him a question…”Why did you doubt?” I appreciate that Jesus didn’t ask Peter this question AS he was sinking. It wasn’t until Jesus had him in his hands…face to face…that he asked him. The majority of the time my response to that question is, “I don’t know…because!” but honestly I probably doubt because I start to look at my circumstances (the wind) and take into consideration my inability to control the situation. That is when I quickly come to the conclusion that this is not going to work! With me in charge, the boat will sink, the people will drown, and this Captain isn’t staying with the boat…I’m grabbing the nearest life vest and holding on for dear life…Peace, hope ya’ll make it! Hahaha! On the other hand, when my thoughts play the role of the wind I start to get pushed in directions so easily because I’ve let my mind wander from the knowledge I have about Jesus Christ and His love for me. It’s like I forget He didn’t send me out here to watch me drown. No, no, He knows where I am and has everything under control! I’m working on this area in my thought life but sometimes I can still let them have too much influence.

Last verses everyone…thanks for staying with me!

32 – 33) And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”

These verses remind me that Jesus will always get me back safely but most notable is that people (family, friends, co-workers, etc.) are watching me on my journey. They are observing how I handle situations that are over my head or when I’m faced with a challenge. People are watching how I react and how I interact with God. How I proclaim His promises and lean on Him for my strength. How I go when I think He is calling me to a certain place because I have faith that however the situation turns out He will always bring me through. That is what I want people to see. I want the people in my life to see my faith in action. Even when it sounds crazy to me I want them to know that I trust and have faith in God. Yes, somethings things don’t work out like I had planned but in the end people will see the turn around from it and be even more amazed at what God does and praise Him for it. My purpose in life is to reveal God to the people in my life. Whether that be telling people about what I think He is leading me to do and taking action or being humble when things don’t work out like I expected yet still praising His name knowing that He planned my life,  He has it all mapped out, so just because I didn’t get it right doesn’t mean He got it wrong.

Okay, my reading warriors, that was a long one!!  I hope you were able to take away something from these verses or relate to something I wrote. Don’t let the winds in your life toss you! Rest, refocus, and continue on…remember you are halfway there!!

Prayer

Prayer.

Oh, how I enjoy praying especially when I get to do it for someone! As I’ve come to understand, prayer is simply talking to God whether it’s a specific request or just a general conversation. When I was younger I didn’t like to pray out loud around people even my family. When I was visiting my grandma she would often ask me if I would like to pray for the food (usually breakfast). I can picture her sitting at the table, beaming, with her hands folded, and patiently waiting for me to start. However, I would turn to her and say, “No, I think you should.” And thus the battle began. She would give me those puppy dog eyes and say in such an innocent voice, “Oh but I want you too!” Ugh, stop playing the grandma card! I would eventually cave because I just couldn’t take the sorrow and pleading anymore or she would threaten me to hurry up because the food was getting cold! So, I would reluctantly pray and we would finally eat…after I rewarmed our food of course. If I stayed for dinner she would ask me the same thing,”Would you like to pray?”…hands folded, sweet grandma smile, but this time I had an out. “I prayed this morning, it’s your turn!” Ha!! Got her! This wouldn’t work all the time because my grandma didn’t let my antics last too long but it often became our routine when I would visit. She passed away in 2014 but I remember these moments and many others with a smile. I learned so much from her and I’m very thankful that I was able to spend time with her over the years.

Now that I’m older I don’t mind praying out loud as much but I still get a little stage fright only because sometimes I don’t know what to say and there is always that fear of rambling and making no sense at all…”Heavenly Father, thank you for this time…for bringing us together…uhhh, for just being with us, and for bringing us together, for protection and blessings, favor, yes Lord and umm…The sun..Wait, that was for yesterday not today, it’s cloudy…For the clouds, the rain that brings forth life, trees, grass, butterflies, deer, just life Lord…I say this in Jesus’ name. Amen! Oh wait, and bless the food!” …..long pause, whispers, blank stares….Amen?! Haha, I’m exaggerating but that is how I feel sometimes when I pray…what did I say?!? Anyway, even though for the most part I have “overcome” this fear of praying there is another fear that I’m trying to work through which is the fear of admitting to need prayer.

Dr. Tony Evans speak about how God's law guarantees believers certain rights that they can depend on when they're facing problems or pain. This is Dr. Evans' sermon titled: "Claiming Your Legal Rights" and is taken from the 10-part series "The Key to Spiritual Victory." For more helpful resources or to request prayer, visit TonyEvans.org.

I’m not sure when I noticed this but when someone would address a group that I was part of, asking if anyone had any prayer requests, I would get this sudden urge to look down or away and have this feeling of, I don’t know almost shame I guess, if I knew that I needed prayer. If I had a prayer request for someone else this didn’t happen because I was sharing a struggle that someone else had and not my own. I was more willing to share because I wanted that person to not be in that situation anymore but when it came to my personal life, “Nah, I’m good. Nothing major, just basic life stuff…I’ll talk to God about it on my own.” I know not everyone is comfortable sharing really personal details and somethings are best shared with a few people you trust and not “the whole world” but the group I’m around I consider to be my friends or at least people I can come to for help. It seems like after someone asked if anyone needs prayer I can hear a pin drop among the group and everyone seems to inhale at the same time. Part of it for me is the fear of being vulnerable around others but I think the real issue I have is admitting that I’m “weak”, struggling, have issues, etc. I know this isn’t the case for everyone but I think that is the reason why I hesitate to come to the altar for prayer at church or speak up during group. I’m a pretty private person so if you want to know something about me you are going to have to ask me directly or I’m keeping my mouth shut. I don’t view people who say they need prayer as weak but real, honest, and having faith that God will answer. However, in my mind it’s, “Girl, no one needs to know about your stuff, keep it together, people will think differently of you, or worst show sincere concern and support!” The horror!!  Well, there is another revelation…not only do I fear being seen as, uh, human I guess, I also fear the attention. Attention as in people will know about a need in my life and will be thinking about me. I know, it’s ridiculous but I can’t be the only one who thinks this way right…right…RIGHT?!

Now that I’m more aware of my thoughts I’m going to try to not be so guarded when it comes to asking for prayer. There are many instances in my life where I have either seen or heard how God answered prayers. The fact that I’m alive is an answered to prayers. I was born almost 3 months premature and weighed a little under two pounds and fit in the palm of my dad’s hand. I was tiny. It wasn’t looking so good for me but my family prayed calling whoever they could reach to join in and here I am today, thank God! When I think about the power of prayer the book of Acts comes to mind. Particularly in chapter 12 when a group of people where in constant prayer for  Peter who was in prison awaiting execution. “Constant prayer was offered to God for him by the church”…Peter was “bound with two chains between two soldiers; and the guards before the door were keeping the prison” (that’s pretty secure if you ask me) but this wasn’t an impossible rescue mission for God, nope, this was easy.”…an angel of the Lord stood by him, and a light shone in the prison; and he stuck Peter on the side and raised him up, saying, “Arise quickly!” And his chains fell off his hands.”Another scripture that highlights the power of prayer is in James 5:16,”Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed…” Oh, the power of prayer!

That is how I’m going to start viewing prayer. Not as a moment where the spotlight is going to be on me but instead an opportunity for God to be glorified in my life. I mean if I don’t say I need prayer then people won’t know I need it, and if people don’t know I need it, then how is God going to answer it? Yes, He does answer our own prayers, and sometimes not in the way we would expect, but I think He gets so much more recognition and praise when more than one person is involved. Praying as a group also fosters a sense of community and unity of the faith.

Prayer is important, powerful, and is nothing to be shy or fearful of. When I view it as a moment on me then I back away but if as an opportunity to glorify God then Yep, let me tell you my needs! From being self-centered to Christ-centered is the shift I need to make.

If you are in need of prayer today please don’t wait! Reach out to someone you trust or a group of people who will support you and let your needs be known.