Prayer.
Oh, how I enjoy praying especially when I get to do it for someone! As I’ve come to understand, prayer is simply talking to God whether it’s a specific request or just a general conversation. When I was younger I didn’t like to pray out loud around people even my family. When I was visiting my grandma she would often ask me if I would like to pray for the food (usually breakfast). I can picture her sitting at the table, beaming, with her hands folded, and patiently waiting for me to start. However, I would turn to her and say, “No, I think you should.” And thus the battle began. She would give me those puppy dog eyes and say in such an innocent voice, “Oh but I want you too!” Ugh, stop playing the grandma card! I would eventually cave because I just couldn’t take the sorrow and pleading anymore or she would threaten me to hurry up because the food was getting cold! So, I would reluctantly pray and we would finally eat…after I rewarmed our food of course. If I stayed for dinner she would ask me the same thing,”Would you like to pray?”…hands folded, sweet grandma smile, but this time I had an out. “I prayed this morning, it’s your turn!” Ha!! Got her! This wouldn’t work all the time because my grandma didn’t let my antics last too long but it often became our routine when I would visit. She passed away in 2014 but I remember these moments and many others with a smile. I learned so much from her and I’m very thankful that I was able to spend time with her over the years.
Now that I’m older I don’t mind praying out loud as much but I still get a little stage fright only because sometimes I don’t know what to say and there is always that fear of rambling and making no sense at all…”Heavenly Father, thank you for this time…for bringing us together…uhhh, for just being with us, and for bringing us together, for protection and blessings, favor, yes Lord and umm…The sun..Wait, that was for yesterday not today, it’s cloudy…For the clouds, the rain that brings forth life, trees, grass, butterflies, deer, just life Lord…I say this in Jesus’ name. Amen! Oh wait, and bless the food!” …..long pause, whispers, blank stares….Amen?! Haha, I’m exaggerating but that is how I feel sometimes when I pray…what did I say?!? Anyway, even though for the most part I have “overcome” this fear of praying there is another fear that I’m trying to work through which is the fear of admitting to need prayer.
I’m not sure when I noticed this but when someone would address a group that I was part of, asking if anyone had any prayer requests, I would get this sudden urge to look down or away and have this feeling of, I don’t know almost shame I guess, if I knew that I needed prayer. If I had a prayer request for someone else this didn’t happen because I was sharing a struggle that someone else had and not my own. I was more willing to share because I wanted that person to not be in that situation anymore but when it came to my personal life, “Nah, I’m good. Nothing major, just basic life stuff…I’ll talk to God about it on my own.” I know not everyone is comfortable sharing really personal details and somethings are best shared with a few people you trust and not “the whole world” but the group I’m around I consider to be my friends or at least people I can come to for help. It seems like after someone asked if anyone needs prayer I can hear a pin drop among the group and everyone seems to inhale at the same time. Part of it for me is the fear of being vulnerable around others but I think the real issue I have is admitting that I’m “weak”, struggling, have issues, etc. I know this isn’t the case for everyone but I think that is the reason why I hesitate to come to the altar for prayer at church or speak up during group. I’m a pretty private person so if you want to know something about me you are going to have to ask me directly or I’m keeping my mouth shut. I don’t view people who say they need prayer as weak but real, honest, and having faith that God will answer. However, in my mind it’s, “Girl, no one needs to know about your stuff, keep it together, people will think differently of you, or worst show sincere concern and support!” The horror!! Well, there is another revelation…not only do I fear being seen as, uh, human I guess, I also fear the attention. Attention as in people will know about a need in my life and will be thinking about me. I know, it’s ridiculous but I can’t be the only one who thinks this way right…right…RIGHT?!
Now that I’m more aware of my thoughts I’m going to try to not be so guarded when it comes to asking for prayer. There are many instances in my life where I have either seen or heard how God answered prayers. The fact that I’m alive is an answered to prayers. I was born almost 3 months premature and weighed a little under two pounds and fit in the palm of my dad’s hand. I was tiny. It wasn’t looking so good for me but my family prayed calling whoever they could reach to join in and here I am today, thank God! When I think about the power of prayer the book of Acts comes to mind. Particularly in chapter 12 when a group of people where in constant prayer for Peter who was in prison awaiting execution. “Constant prayer was offered to God for him by the church”…Peter was “bound with two chains between two soldiers; and the guards before the door were keeping the prison” (that’s pretty secure if you ask me) but this wasn’t an impossible rescue mission for God, nope, this was easy.”…an angel of the Lord stood by him, and a light shone in the prison; and he stuck Peter on the side and raised him up, saying, “Arise quickly!” And his chains fell off his hands.”Another scripture that highlights the power of prayer is in James 5:16,”Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed…” Oh, the power of prayer!
That is how I’m going to start viewing prayer. Not as a moment where the spotlight is going to be on me but instead an opportunity for God to be glorified in my life. I mean if I don’t say I need prayer then people won’t know I need it, and if people don’t know I need it, then how is God going to answer it? Yes, He does answer our own prayers, and sometimes not in the way we would expect, but I think He gets so much more recognition and praise when more than one person is involved. Praying as a group also fosters a sense of community and unity of the faith.
Prayer is important, powerful, and is nothing to be shy or fearful of. When I view it as a moment on me then I back away but if as an opportunity to glorify God then Yep, let me tell you my needs! From being self-centered to Christ-centered is the shift I need to make.
If you are in need of prayer today please don’t wait! Reach out to someone you trust or a group of people who will support you and let your needs be known.